what is there to know

do you want to get to know me?

well its not entirely hard to do imo

and yet i have been called comolicted on more than one occasion by more than one person

yet i am aware of how simply complicated it is

i like strawberries, sunflowers, black cats, crows and ravens, so on and so forth, i like complicated things just as much if not more than the simple things

the simle things feel complicated and the complicated things feel simple

i would rather be cold than hot

i love sttention and yet i dont ned it

i like to be perceived although i feel better as a concept sometimes

i cant have bacon or cherries they hurt my tummy

i like it when people remember the small things about me as that is what i like to remember about people

the way someones eyes look in the sun

the way they smile

how they like their food

the routines they have

things that seem so small in simple yet are so very important to me

again i am just a girl online

on this little platform

running two very different accounts and experiencing from what i have been told a lot of things i shouldnt be at the ripe age of 2

im an april aries

i will always ask the moon for a second opinion and will tell you with all the exciment in me that i saw a raven or a crow

i love to sleep in the sun like a lizard

i do things out of spite

i am so small yet full of so much anger

i love to just have a moment and be hateful to no one in particular just to get it out

sometimes i just have to be angry and mean

but i do hae a chemical imbalance in my brain so yk that might be why

i cherish the people around me more than they know

i for some reason want to be famous online

dont know why

i think it would be fun

having an audience?

but like one that is nice and interacts and what not

maybe ill get better at describing that

did you know i get jeaous? and then i lock in because if i want what they have then i ave t work towards it

its that simple yet complicated

sometimes i wish to expand my vocabulary and other times i like the simplicity

there was no plot to this post

just me saying whatever

this app is so silly so fun so interesting to watch change and grow

i wonder how things will change when it gets popular

hopefully mainstream but in a good way

wishing this well all the time

maybe ill go back to school for computer science

also

hi

and thank you

hopefully we can talk soon

do you have any questions?

yk there is never no tmi between us

and i will to an extent match your freak

okay okay okay

as ive typed this ive gotten up 5 times to scolded the boys for barking and being puppies as my current husband is trying to sleep

im going to write in my journal

post online some more

schedule more post for my other acocunt as that one has a little bit more attention but this one is getting there too

if there arae typos i am ignoring them as i am lazy and using a bluetooth keyboard for this post

i wished go be loved wholeheartedly and safely

and im craving something sweet

yes this is how fast my mind goes in person and yes i get told to focus and lock in as if i tangent we will never get to the end of the first point

my therapy session kept getting interupted the other day as she had a student she was teaching

i found it funny as i do not care becaause i am chill and she says she is grateful i am so calm and okay with it

which makes me wonder how many people she sees who would not be okay with it

i wonder about a lot of things

even had a whole episode about what happens after you die

i havent gotten to a nice conclusion on that one and truly i will not discuss that here until i have a better hill to die on

lilith

not expanding on that one either

i am unique from what i was told

but then again i think everyone is unique to someone

but i also learned the hard way that i get a different level of attention and treatment than other people do

not in a bad way just in a way that i have lost friends over

are you keeping up?

this is truly tame as i can not type as fast with these nails and on this little keyboard as i normally would so my thoughts sre currenlty to fast for my hands

maybe

i should stop here for now as there are plently of questions in here already that some of you will acknowledge and some will ignore

arent you curious? i dont see why you wouldnt be honestly there are so many things to ask questions about

not just about me but everything

i worry i come off as self centered

and conceited and yet

when i express that i get shut down quiet often

bad people dont worry they are bad people

and i worry too much about eing selfish and conceited to truly feel like its true

anyways

hi

welcome to the end of this for the... third time? i wasnt counting but you mightve been

i like deadpool and how he breaks the 4th wall

i wonder whats that like

but again

lets stop here

maybe you kept up

maybe you didnt

maybe you missed a hidden message

and maybe

just maybe you read it all the way to the end

how do you end these thing when your thoughts dont truly stop

i was worried sbout losing myself when i first started medication i remember asking what do i do without having all the worry

i was worried about not worrying as much anymore

how silly

i was worried about losing my spark

my ego is stroked enoug lately through the good and bad for me to feel heard

just enough to keep going forward

ive changed a lot

and i will keep changing

hopefully for the better

maybe ill have an evil era

but thats just the red talking

i want to live

there are so maany things to say and do

and i want to be around to watch the world heal and to help make great change

which morals are different for everyone

we arent getting into that though

do you think about me sometimes? throughout the day randomly?

that would make me feel a little(alot) happy

anywhooo

glad to be here on this silly app

i want a little thing by my name

maybe it just says princess

maybe it says lollipop princess

maybe its just the lollipop emoji

but it has to be a nice shade of pink

maybe... maybe a red

okay okay

ill say more later

obviously

i always have more to say

and im so grateful you are willing to listen