boyfriend girlfriend
he assumes we will be boyfriend girlfriend after the divorce
after the way hes been treating me
and i told him that hes been complacent
that he does not treat me well
and that all the things he misses i do for him got stopped because of the way he started taking me for granted
who knows if it will actually set in
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You definitely don't need that
🥲 right right
I never once thought either of my two ex-wives would be my girlfriend after our divorce. That's just crazy.
he makes me feel extremely crazy
You said he was looking into / was filing for divorce. Before you started to. He obviously has reasons why he wants to. I just can't wrap my head around the idea that he started the divorce but wants to be BF/GF. There is no logical path from one to the other unless he is deluding himself about how you would react to this. You certainly have your hands full with this.
he went and got like a divorce packet from office depot (in my sleep deprived state i said home depot to my friends 💀) and so i have that with me currently to review
i told him im going to talk to a lawyer and he got in an uppity about alimony and im like dude... i need to talk to one about the mortgage and taxes and how selling the house will go and what not
i honestly do not think hes like thinking it out all the way unless i draw the lines
because i asked him like okay we divorce then what? we are awkward roommates for a while? like boyfriend girlfriend or??? because i truly did not think it would be a boyfriend girlfriend type thing after the divorce and more so roommates until financial stuff is situated
What motivated him to go get the packet in the first place? Most people don't just go to Office Depot, wander the store, and on a whim decide to pick up something about divorces.
He may well not be thinking it out, but he had some reason to start all this.
well we have been fighting for months on and off and i told him im over it and that im tired of feeling like the only one putting in effort and that were getting a divorce and that if he truly TRULY wanted to be with me then he can put in the effort without us being legally bonded
which considering ive been expressing these problems to him for over a year already i doubt any true change is going to come from it
i am "the love of his life" and he will "do anything to make me happy" but apparently that does not include changing for the better
so the divorce talk has been happening but i never expected him to take the time effort and energy to go get the packet because he doesnt do that with anything else regarding our relationship
i felt like i mentioned that divorce has been talked about before in a post already but it might not have been oops maybe it was another comment
It's possible you mentioned divorce to him before, I may have misunderstood.
I would suspect the expectation of his of the two of you being BF/GF stems from where you said " if he truly TRULY wanted to be with me then he can put in the effort without us being legally bonded" . Is this really something you want?
its something im just kinda... there about yk?
ive stopped expecting anything from him
and when he starts to do better i dont trust it because it never lasts long yk?
i just know that i do not want things the way they currently are and that i want to be happy
ive expressed to him that at the end of the day that even if we fix everything he doesnt want kids and i want kids and we need to split because there is no fair compromise
he says hes willing to give me kids to make me happy and i dont want that because he wont be happy
if i tell him right now there is no chance of us getting together again and what not then he will get in an uppity and leave and cause a whole big scene
and i personally cant afford to be shot in the foot right now
hes quick to anger
quick to actions that he regrets later
doesnt think before he speaks
and doesnt think things through
at least when it comes to anything involving me
me and his coworkers can say the same thing to him and im speaking in riddles but his coworkers arent
at the end of the day divorce is happening
what happens after the divorce is up in the air
but ive been checked out for a good minute
the "if he truly wanted to be with me he can put in the effort" yadada part is in regards to how long this argument/fighting has been going on period and that im pretty sure if we werent married he would just up and leave and that it shouldnt take us getting divorced for him to actually change in the ways ive been trying to express for over a year
its a bit confusing from the bits and pieces im saying and i tend to jumble things together since theres so much going on
but if he truly loved me
then we dont need to be married for us to be bonded together
if... that makes sense?
his coworker who has been through a divorce or two said to go and get one there
Nah that's crazy, I've never heard of divorcing to become bf/gf.
How are you handling it and expecting it to go?
honestly i got too many other things going on too fully think hard on it
mostly going through the motions
got a $1219 water heater replacement to pay for
my sleep issues
yk the fun stuff to worry about
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