AITJ- I want to stop sending money to my parents completely sometimes…
So both of my parents met in the US and had me here ,making me a U.S citizen. They both are immigrants and have been deported since I was 11 years old from what I can remember. (Traumatizing af, for all of us), They pretty much came here and didn’t study or take advantage of the opportunities I see most rich immigrant parents or well off ones take. It angers me sometimes but that’s life, I was pretty much left to help my mom pay off debt and now my dad is ask in for money to buy a car in his country, they are divorced.
dad has a gf my age, mom is a stressful mess always in debt. I’m so greatful for everything they provided my sister and I as kids but the work they did was not legal (pro$titution). It earned them alottttt but I just grew up around that stuff , seeing porn in the tv,walking in on people, the fights between my father and mother. I feel bad for my mom I don’t mind sending her something now and then for necessities ! Considering my little sister is with her (also a US citizen, I just had to study there at 15years old for highschool , I graduated in the country mom is from and got to come back to the US alone at 18) not gonna lie worst years ever but good moments. My mom has been through hell with my father and her own life so I don’t blame her for the stress and terrible days my sister and I faced living with her. Oof but yeah I don’t know I don’t want to send them shit I’m already going through my own stuff at 23 years old no support, mostly government support and I definitely want to do the best I can for them when I’m actually stable. I’m ashamed I came back and just spiraled into things for quick money and trying to forget trauma and pain. But I’m glad and ready to move on ,study,steady career and hopefully have my little sister here with me.
Sign up for OddsRabbit
Join communities like /c/amithejerk and never miss posts like this. Every signup donates a meal for a child in need. Learn more
Comments
Sorry to hear about your troubles, definitely NTJ.
I went through something similar, from 17-23 I was basically just working full time to pay off my mom’s debt, and then still continued to support her to this day. While I love her, I can’t help but have a bit of resentment that I haven’t been able to shake off, because of how much it has and is still affecting my life.
Whatever you choose to do, wish you the best, and you should know it’s not your fault etc.
🫶⭐️ proud of you
Absolutely not the jerk. They’re adults who made their own adult decisions. If you continue it sets up a cycle. It’s yoyr family, you love them, but it’s okay to love yourself more.
Thank you for insight ⭐️and understanding in the love part , self love over all is truth 🫶
Absolutely NTJ.
Take it from someone who understands what you're going through in feeling like you have an obligation to your parents; It is not right to allow yourself to be used by your parents financially.
You did not ask to be brought into this world and you are allowed to move forward with your life without feeling obligated to fix theirs. There is nothing to be ashamed of. This doesn't mean you love them any less, but sometimes it really is better to follow the mindset of "Love them from a distance".
Set boundaries, understand that this isn't you abandoning them and that they should want you to be able to move forward past where they are.
But that's just my two cents. Wish you the best, my man.
Thank you for insight and blessing,🫶☀️⭐️wishing back the same positivity