/c/Jokes

EvilDead 2w

Coming to the end of an initial assessment, the psychiatrist asks his new patient, "Okay, habits. Do you drink?"

The patient says, "No."

"Smoke?"

"No."

"Do drugs?"

"No."

"Cheat on your wife?"

"Never."

"Amazing," says the shrink. "Any bad habits at all?"

And the patient says, "Lying."

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Community rules

Rule 1: Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.

Please do the following:

Offer your joke with its setup or summary in the title, and its body or punchline in the text field.
Proofread your joke for any spelling, grammatical, or punctuation-based errors.
Try to offer fresh and original jokes whenever possible.
Submit your joke in English.

Please do not do the following:

Type in ALL CAPS.
Submit AI-generated content.
Offer prompts or requests for jokes.
Post limericks, riddles, or lists of jokes.
Use "[deleted]" or "[removed]" as a punchline.
Include any emojis in either the title or the body of your joke.
Offer any links, images, videos, or other non-text-based posts.
Include any meta-commentary* in the body of your joke.

Rule 2: No reposts of recent jokes.

While reposts in c/Jokes are allowed, they must meet the following criteria:

The joke has not been posted in the past 30 days.
The joke does not violate any of the communities's rules.

When reporting a repost, please provide a link to the previous version of the joke.

Camping – the act of waiting for a repost to become "fair game" – falls under the purview of intentional reposting, and it will lead to removals. Users with a history of camping or serial reposting will be banned.

Rule 3: No bigotry, sexualization of minors, hate-speech, or other unwelcome content.

This includes (but is not limited to) the following:

Racism
Bigotry
Misogyny
Hate-speech
Misinformation
Incitement of violence

Jokes that are dark or offensive are allowed, but they must be jokes, and they are subject to moderator discretion.

Rule 4: Adult-oriented media must be properly tagged.

Links of any kind are not allowed in posts.

When linking to adult-oriented content in comments, sexually explicit or graphic media must be tagged with "NSFW," whereas disgusting or disturbing media must be tagged with "NSFL."

The text of your link must be either "NSFW" or "NSFL" (whichever is appropriate). Here is an example:

This joke reminds me of the time when Elmer Fudd sneezed on Lola Bunny at a nude beach: [NSFW / NSFL](URL goes here)

NSFW or NSFL content that is not tagged may result in removals and bans, as will spam of any kind.

Coming to the end of an initial assessment, the psychiatrist asks his new patient, "Okay, habits. Do you drink?"

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