Jokes (/c/Jokes) - OddsRabbit

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Uncle joke at the Ichigo au Lait machine in Japan

Federal_Zombie_9456

Uncle joke at the Ichigo au Lait machine in Japan

Just how many strawberry's do you feed the cow to get strawberry milk?

What's a monkey's favourite football team?

leafybunbun

What's a monkey's favourite football team?

Aston Gorilla 🫣.

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A bartender brings a guy a drink and says, "Hey buddy, you look a little down. What's wrong?"

EvilDead 2w

A bartender brings a guy a drink and says, "Hey buddy, you look a little down. What's wrong?"

The guy says, "Well, when my wife left, I felt a little sad in the beginning. Then I got a dog, bought a Harley, and asked out the pretty neighbor next door. Things were definitely looking better.".

Coming to the end of an initial assessment, the psychiatrist asks his new patient, "Okay, habits. Do you drink?"

EvilDead 2w

Coming to the end of an initial assessment, the psychiatrist asks his new patient, "Okay, habits. Do you drink?"

The patient says, "No.". "Smoke?". "No.".

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

EvilDead 3w

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m.". He figures the early tee-time will discourage her. The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.

What do you call a snail on a ship?

SituationDismal 2w

What do you call a snail on a ship?

A SNAIL-OR! 😊😊😊.

A college student is walking on the beach when he finds a magic lamp with a genie inside.

EvilDead 2w

A college student is walking on the beach when he finds a magic lamp with a genie inside.

So the college student says, “I want to be the richest man in the world.”. The genie snaps his fingers and responds,

Community rules

Rule 1: Jokes should be offered according to our list of best practices.

Please do the following:

Offer your joke with its setup or summary in the title, and its body or punchline in the text field.
Proofread your joke for any spelling, grammatical, or punctuation-based errors.
Try to offer fresh and original jokes whenever possible.
Submit your joke in English.

Please do not do the following:

Type in ALL CAPS.
Submit AI-generated content.
Offer prompts or requests for jokes.
Post limericks, riddles, or lists of jokes.
Use "[deleted]" or "[removed]" as a punchline.
Include any emojis in either the title or the body of your joke.
Offer any links, images, videos, or other non-text-based posts.
Include any meta-commentary* in the body of your joke.

Rule 2: No reposts of recent jokes.

While reposts in c/Jokes are allowed, they must meet the following criteria:

The joke has not been posted in the past 30 days.
The joke does not violate any of the communities's rules.

When reporting a repost, please provide a link to the previous version of the joke.

Camping – the act of waiting for a repost to become "fair game" – falls under the purview of intentional reposting, and it will lead to removals. Users with a history of camping or serial reposting will be banned.

Rule 3: No bigotry, sexualization of minors, hate-speech, or other unwelcome content.

This includes (but is not limited to) the following:

Racism
Bigotry
Misogyny
Hate-speech
Misinformation
Incitement of violence

Jokes that are dark or offensive are allowed, but they must be jokes, and they are subject to moderator discretion.

Rule 4: Adult-oriented media must be properly tagged.

Links of any kind are not allowed in posts.

When linking to adult-oriented content in comments, sexually explicit or graphic media must be tagged with "NSFW," whereas disgusting or disturbing media must be tagged with "NSFL."

The text of your link must be either "NSFW" or "NSFL" (whichever is appropriate). Here is an example:

This joke reminds me of the time when Elmer Fudd sneezed on Lola Bunny at a nude beach: [NSFW / NSFL](URL goes here)

NSFW or NSFL content that is not tagged may result in removals and bans, as will spam of any kind.

Jokes

Posts in Jokes

Saved Posts

Uncle joke at the Ichigo au Lait machine in Japan

What's a monkey's favourite football team?

Organize Your Projects, Docs, and Ideas All in One Place

A bartender brings a guy a drink and says, "Hey buddy, you look a little down. What's wrong?"

Coming to the end of an initial assessment, the psychiatrist asks his new patient, "Okay, habits. Do you drink?"

A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…

What do you call a snail on a ship?

A college student is walking on the beach when he finds a magic lamp with a genie inside.